God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. – 1 Thessalonians 4:7
Paul explains what this means—first negatively, and then positively.
Negatively
This is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality. (4:3).
The word Paul uses here is porneia, from which we get our English word “pornography.” It was used in New Testament times to describe any kind of sexual sin. It is God’s will that you should be sanctified, that you should avoid porneia—any form of sexual sin.
Positively
This is the will of God… that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor (4:3-4).
It may be that Paul is making a general statement about the importance of self-control here, but some Bible versions note an alternative translation for this verse having to do with taking a wife. God’s purpose is that the transforming power of the gospel should extend even into the private world of the marriage bed.
Sanctification involves putting an end to sexual selfishness in marriage, either through imposing or withholding. It is God’s will for every Christian husband that he learn to relate to his wife in a way that makes her feel honored. It is God’s will for every Christian wife that she learn to relate to her husband in a way that makes him feel honored. This is part of what it means to live in a way that pleases the Lord.
Notice that this is something that God wants us to “know,” which means we need to learn it (4:4). It does not always come naturally, but you can grow in this by the power of the Holy Spirit who lives in you.
If you are married, ask your husband or your wife: “Do you feel honored by the way we relate in the bedroom?”
