13. Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a beautiful gift. When someone who has sinned repents and the one who was sinned against for- gives, they are reconciled and both experience peace and joy.

The first step toward knowing this joy is to recognize how much we have been forgiven. Jesus teaches us that we should ask God to forgive our sins, which He describes as debts. “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12; see also Luke 11:4).

We all have debts

Each of us lives in a network of relationships in which we have responsibilities and obligations. Only God stands outside of this network. God is no one’s debtor, but we have an obligation to God and to others that can be summed up in a single word: love.

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” (Luke 10:27)

When we think of our sins, we usually think first of wrong things we have done. But the starting point here is what we have failed to do. We owe God a life of devoted love every day, and what we owe, we have not paid
We owe it to our neighbors to always seek their best interest. We owe a debt of love to our husbands, wives, parents, children, friends, coworkers, and even our enemies. And, however much we love, that debt is never fully paid.

We all have debtors

Debtors means that there will be people in your life who will not give you what they owe. We live in a fallen world, and just as you have defaulted on what you owe to God and to others, others will default on what they owe to God and to you.

God calls us to forgive those who have wronged us, failed us, and disappointed us, as He has forgiven us:

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

So the starting point for our forgiving others is the forgiveness we have received.

How can we be forgiven?

Jesus teaches us to pray, “Forgive us our debts” (Matthew 6:12). That is a big ask. Imagine going to someone to whom you owe $100,000 and saying, “I am asking you to write off this debt.” But Jesus invites us to make a bigger ask of God.

When we ask God to forgive our sins, we come to Him with empty hands. We don’t try to make a deal with God: “Father, I will make it up to You by being a good mother, a good student, or a good Christian.” Instead, we say, “Father, I cannot pay. I ask You for mercy. Forgive my debt, wipe the slate clean, and cancel what I owe.”

How can a just and holy God forgive our repeated failure to do what He commands? This question takes us to the heart of the Bible story. Jesus did what we have failed to do. He lived a life of perfect love. He fulfilled all that God requires of us, and then laid down His perfect life on our behalf. Jesus paid the debt we owe.

God forgives sinners as we look to His Son, Jesus, in faith and repentance.

“Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, and that repentance for the forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem.” (Luke 24:46–47)

Suppose you came to God in repentance, and He said: “You are on probation and time will tell if your repentance is genuine.” Now you must prove yourself, knowing that if you fail, God has it in for you. That would be an impossible burden.

But Jesus has something better for you than placing you on probation. When you come to Him in repentance, He pronounces you “Not guilty!” He forgives. He reconciles. And forgiveness is much better than probation!

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
(Psalm 103:11–12)

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)

Forgiveness is not God giving you an opportunity to prove yourself. Forgiveness is God dropping all charges against you and wiping your record clean forever.

How can we forgive?

Forgiveness is never easy. But if you are struggling to forgive another person, the good news is that receiving God’s forgiveness will give you a new capacity to forgive others.

Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). This means that there is the closest connection between us receiving forgiveness from God and us releasing forgiveness to others. The connection lies in the words us and our. The prayer is not “Forgive me my debts.” It is “Forgive us our debts.”

In praying this prayer, you are asking God to forgive not only the debts you owe but also the debts that others owe to you. “Father, forgive us” means, “Forgive me as I have failed to love You and forgive her as she has failed to love me.” The only alternative would be: “Father, do not forgive us. I won’t forgive, and I don’t want You to forgive either.” But who would want to pray that prayer? As God opens your heart to pour forgiveness out, it will be open for Him to pour forgiveness in.