A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle. – Proverbs 18:19
If you have a good relationship with your brother or sister, cherish it and guard it, because Proverbs reminds us that close relationships are vulnerable to deep wounds that don’t heal easily. “A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city.”
You see this in the Old Testament. The first children born into the world were two boys, Cain and Abel. One was jealous of the other and, in the end, he killed him. Then you have the story of Joseph and his jealous brothers, who sold him into slavery.
And in the New Testament, two brothers came to Jesus because they were quarreling over an inheritance (Lk. 12:13). We are also told that the family of Jesus—that is, His brothers and sisters—said that He was out of His mind (Mk. 3:21; also see Mk. 6:3).
So, if the jealousy of a brother or sister is a trial in your life, Jesus has been there. He knows what this is like. “A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle” (Prov. 18:19).
The closer the relationship, the stronger the bars that keep you apart when it has been strained. Here’s why: When a close relationship breaks down, the offended brother will say, “Well, if something that seemed so good proved hollow, what is the point of trying to restore it?”
Close relationships are vulnerable to deep wounds, so handle them with special care. Another proverb says, “The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out” (17:14).
If there are “bars of a castle” in your heart right now, ask God to take them down. If they are in your sibling’s heart, ask God to help you do what you can to make things better.
